


the unspoken thing

by latenights



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 08:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17301596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latenights/pseuds/latenights
Summary: Three weeks, maybe longer without those stolen moments. Even worse is the uncertainty. There is no guarantee Niles would come back from this. Leo's heart aches at the thought.---While Niles is away, Leo has time to examine his feelings and their relationship.





	the unspoken thing

Their relationship is made up of secret moments: in the stables while Leo brushes his horse, the hidden spaces of the hallways while Leo moves between meetings, in his room when Niles helps him tie the straps of his armor together. Quick. That's what their kisses always feel like. But Leo never finds them disappointing. Niles is experienced, eager, ever so affectionate even in the briefest window of time. 

This moment now is bittersweet. A brief span of a few seconds when Camilla turns to talk to her own retainer that Niles takes to capture Leo's lips with his own. He restrains himself from pulling Niles back by the cape as Camilla turns around to affirm the details of the mission. Leo's learned to force back the red of his cheeks, the too longing look in his gaze when he's under the attention of others. Niles just smiles like a cat that's gotten into the cream. No one would think anything strange of it.

"I've gone on long missions before," Niles assures. "This isn't new."

_Yes, but not for this long, not by Father's own orders, not this far into Faceless territory_ , Leo wants to say but he just smirks and answers with, "I expect you to succeed." And dreading his loss, his voice grows softer, "And return to me, Niles, safe and sound."

Niles smiles gently at him. "I'll do as milord asks, without question."

\---

A simple retrieving mission, his father had said, to find a rogue mage who had been summoning Faceless left and right without the permission of the crown and letting them loose on the Nohrian army and the villages they were stationed at. Simple, he says, but Leo knows better. It's no Woods of the Forlorn, but the area Niles, Beruka, and the few soldiers accompanying them that they're heading to is still teeming with those mindless monsters, and the terrain is rough, the bare sunlight snuffed out from the thick fog. Even if they're the best recon experts in the castle, things could still go so horribly wrong in that place. 

He is the last person who would doubt Niles' abilities, but the fact that his father sent them out instead of Leo himself... that unnerved him. It's been some time since Niles had left his side on a mission that took longer than a week. Perhaps that's affecting him too.

Three weeks, maybe longer without those stolen moments. Even worse is the uncertainty. There is no guarantee Niles would come back from this. Leo's heart aches at the thought. Not one to sit around in his thoughts, he combs through the library, searching for new spells he could learn and hone and improve with Brynhildr. As he opens his tome, a small piece of paper flutters out. He recognizes the lazy handwriting and smiles to himself. 

"There will be a meteor shower on the fifth day of the week," Leo reads out loud to fill the silence, the missing presence. "We'll be watching the same sky at least."

\---

An ice prince, servants and nobles alike called him. Ruled by his head, cruel at heart. That's the reputation that protects him. Through the betrayal of half-siblings, and a loveless mother, and an unforgiving father, this has kept and still keeps him alive.

It's still a mystery among the servants why the youngest prince spared the life of a criminal.

Curiosity, he told Niles before, because that's what he had told himself to make sense of it all. It was half a truth. A man at the doorstep of death begging for death. That was a curious thing. But Leo thought he was beautiful and terribly lonely, much in the same way Leo was, and in that moment, he clung onto the childish desire for companionship and understanding that he knelt along with Niles on the castle floor and asked him to serve by his side.

Crazy, Niles called him when he recalled that night. "Thought you'd get bored after a day and decide to finally kill me when you got a nice long rest to think about your choices."

Leo did think, and overthink at length when he sat with Niles the morning after the break in, watching him scarf down a hot breakfast and fresh fruit without a care for royal decorum. Father would be angry. Xander would be too.

They'd probably try to execute Niles themselves. What could he say to convince them? Niles' skills were surely something he could use. Not just anyone can make it that far into Krakenburg undetected. But then, those same skills could be used against them. Father would never approve-

"Milord?"

"Niles," Leo quickly answered, mouth trying to keep up with the speed of his mind. 

"Can you hold off on killing me until I've sampled every dish from the kitchens?"

Leo had no idea if Niles meant it as a jest or a serious plea, but something inside Leo bursted with warmth and he laughed, quiet but open until his worries were chased away from his mind. Niles just watched him with a curious eye as he stabbed at his bacon with a fork. 

"In that case," Leo said with new confidence, "I'll just have to tell the chefs to invent something new everyday." 

\---

Leo never pictured falling in love would be so easy. 

Despite what Niles thinks of himself, his retainer is an easy person to love. It's surprising, not because it's Niles, but because Leo is not a man who extends his affections freely. He's almost the slowest to trust (bested only by Xander), and never bares his true feelings, because to do so is a weakness that can turn fatal in a court like Nohr's.

But Niles is beautiful. Witty. Comforting. He shows his care in his gentle touches: fixing Leo's tiara, curling his fingers around Leo's to help him off his horse, dabbing at his injuries with medicine. Whatever Niles masks with words comes out through his actions. Leo knows he can never love another man's touch more than this.

He's never said it out loud. Not yet. And now he stews in his growing regret as the days pass without a word from Niles or the rest of the soldiers on the mission. He's kept the phrase in his heart for so long that speaking them into existence has become a trial. 

Niles is easy to love. Leo is not. That fear has kept him silent for too long. 

_Come home_ , Leo traces onto the window as rain splatters against the glass. _Come home to me, and I'll tell you._

\---

Niles kissed him first. This was a surprise to Leo. 

He had kept himself satisfied with secret stares and daydreams of the feeling of Niles' hair in his hands, Niles' mouth against his neck, that he never sought to bring them to reality. 

It was raining. The marketplace was quickly deserted with the arrival of the storm and Niles pulled Leo under his cloak in a last minute attempt to keep him dry. 

"That didn't last very long," Leo pointed out, tugging at the soaking fabric of Niles' coat. He didn't mind Niles' arm around his shoulders as much. Or at all. 

"My apologies for not being more prepared, but no one was expecting a thunderstorm today. Can't you magic up some sort of shield?"

Leo smiled. "I thought you were the retainer here."

"Ah, but you're the mage."

"We've yet to invent magic umbrellas."

Niles pulled him closer, to warm him. "You could be the first."

Leo laughed, and Niles stared at him for a few moments, and they were locked in silence then in an empty marketplace when Niles leaned in, tentative, and pressed his lips to Leo's. Their first secret moment. 

Leo could have pulled him closer. Could have thrown his arms around Niles and have them kiss again and again and again. But he let Niles pull away and look away, a worry in his eye that he must have overstepped a boundary he wasn't meant to. Leo shook himself out of his shock and wrapped Niles' cloak more tightly around himself. 

"I'll invent it for you," he said, prompting Niles to look his way again. "It wouldn't do for you to get sick. Especially when you can pass it onto me in that way." It was daring for him to say, but his heart fluttered when Niles gave him a relieved smile. 

"I'll be waiting patiently then."

\---

Four weeks. Leo wonders if Niles thinks of him the way Leo does these days. If he's safe, if he's eating enough, if he misses Leo too, if there are things that he also wishes hadn't been left unsaid for so long.

He can function fine without Niles. His daily duties and studies are fulfilled and he spends time with his  
siblings when they have the time to spare. But there is an ache that's been there so long that it's become a constant companion. One that whispers of Niles' absence, and the possibility of living with this forever. Some days he ignores it just fine. Other days he throws himself into books and magic and training until he can collapse into bed at some hellish hour in the morning without the energy to dream. On rarer days, he lets himself truly feel the absence and run through the precious things Niles has left him over the years. Notes and practices from their writing lessons. Embroidered ribbons from the arena competitions he's won in Leo's honor. His favorite books. A record of meteor showers. There is so much more but Leo can only handle going through a little at a time to savor these markers of Niles' existence. 

Tonight, he passes by Niles' room and is struck with the urge to go in and climb into his bed and sleep surrounded by the weight of Niles' blanket. But as open as Niles is with him, he is a private person, and Leo understands that need. He does knock though, a foolish, thoughtless action indeed and receives no response. Leo moves on. There are books he needs to get to in his study. 

\---

Leo wakes up when he feels a weight dipping on his bed. 

His survival instinct switches on first. His door is always locked, he tells himself as he reaches under his pillow for Brynhildr, so someone must have snuck into his room with nefarious intentions. It's only when a hand curls onto his free one that his heart leaps into his throat. 

"Niles." It falls out of his lips with fragile hope. It's been five weeks but Leo hasn't forgotten what his touch feels like. He doesn't think he ever will. Niles smiles and kisses him on the head and Leo clutches to his shirt. He must have changed before he came here, Leo thinks distantly, burying his face in the white fabric. It's only when he pulls away that he notices Niles' other arm in a sling, and the array of medical patches and bruises and magic marks on the visible parts of his skin. Leo kisses a patch on Niles' chest. 

"What are you doing here?" Leo asks, cradling Niles' face in his hands. 

"I've returned to you, as you requested. And you gave me a key to your room," Niles answers, mirthful.

"You should be resting in your room. Look at you."

Niles smooths Leo's hair with his working hand. "I wanted to check on you first."

"I'm not the one who was sent out on a near death mission."

"I've heard you've been overworking yourself to near death," Niles counters easily. "Did you even save any energy left for me?"

Leo answers by kissing him, finally kissing him, desperate and happy and full of words he's been afraid to say before. 

"I love you," Leo whispers against his lips. "I've loved you for so long, Niles, I love you." He kisses Niles again, just to keep himself contained. 

Niles' eye is wide before it closes to accept the kisses Leo gives him. It's this silent acceptance that encourages Leo to continue.

"You don't need to say anything. You don't need to love me back," Leo insists. "But live. That's all I need of you."

Niles is quiet. For the first time in a long time, Leo can't tell what he's thinking. His heart pounds so harshly in his chest he fears it may burst. But then Niles holds him close with his working arm, peppers small kisses to Leo's temple. 

"Can I stay tonight milord?"

"Leo," Leo corrects. He can hear Niles chuckle quietly.

"Can I stay tonight, Leo?"

Leo nods against his shoulder. "Every night even, if you wish."

Without further prompting, Niles gets under the blankets as Leo makes space for him, both of them careful of the sling, until Leo is flush against Niles side, clutching tightly at his free hand. 

It's so easy now to fall asleep with the sound of Niles' breathing comforting him. Tomorrow, he'll wake up to the same sound. Tomorrow, he'll tell Niles he loves him again. For now, he catches the quiet "love you too" whispered into his hair and smiles.


End file.
